Welcome!

Containers Expo Blog Authors: Liz McMillan, David Paquette, Sematext Blog, Elizabeth White, Lori MacVittie

Blog Feed Post

Sex Tape Leads Viewers to Believe Cloud Is Still a “Mystery”

​History has shown that most sex tapes that have been publicly released, whether both parties intended them for our viewing or not, are often far less sexy than the on-camera talent likely envisioned.

Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel’s Sex Tape, released in theatres last Friday, unfortunately keeps this tradition firmly intact.

Techies have been quick to call foul on the film’s doubtful premise of a sex tape being “accidentally” uploaded to the cloud and then inadvertently shared with more than a dozen friends and family members, but I, for one, didn’t find the premise that difficult to imagine in real life. My primary gripe is with the film’s stars assumption that “nobody understands the cloud…it’s a mystery,” the pitiful attempts get their now-public video private again, and the failed opportunity to educate audiences on what’s ultimately a very easy concept to grasp.

I’ll attempt to not give any real spoilers away—outside of the fact this movie really is as abysmal as everyone says.

As a card carrying member of the tech world, while I may be well-versed in the concept of cloud computing, I certainly don’t expect everyone to be, and Jay’s (Segel) panicked explanation to Annie (Diaz) that “nobody understands the cloud” shouldn’t result in eyerolls from anyone.  That being said, a quick Google search of the term “cloud computing” gives short, highly accurate, and completely graspable definition:

“The practice of using a network of remote servers hosted on the Internet to store, manage, and process data, rather than a local server or a personal computer.”

In other words, Jay and Annie, your sex tape is simply being stored not on Jay’s computer, but on a server somewhere else—just like your Facebook photo albums, your Pandora or Spotify playlists, Google Docs, and countless other files you’ve saved over time.

I may have audibly groaned and thrown my head back in bewilderment when Annie asked, “You can’t get it down from the cloud?” and Jay’s response wasn’t, oh, I don’t know, “Great idea, I should check Google” or, “Probably, let me look into the file sharing app I’ve been using for years to see how you do that” or, “Of course I should be able to, because, like everyone on the planet, I’ve deleted a file before.”

Jay and Annie deal with a vindictive, blackmailing teenager in the film who asks the same question many are asking, “why didn’t you just remote wipe it?” For those of you at home who find yourself in a similar predicament, there are step-by-step instructions online on how to do this for Android, Dropbox, PCs, iOS, and any other app or device you can imagine. 

Many critics of the film have correctly pointed out that uploading a file to the cloud has nothing to do with sharing the file with others to consume on their own devices. In today’s world, the upload and subsequent sharing of a three-hour long video would’ve required additional other actions than simply clicking “upload,” and would’ve then likely taken an eternity to complete—giving Jay plenty of time to stop the process.  

With file syncing/sharing apps growing in their functionality and popularity at a tremendous pace today, the possibility of Sex Tape’s dilemma may actually be easier to believe a little further down the road. Of course, as our favorite apps evolve, our understanding of how to use them should follow a similar climb, making Jay and Annie’s complete failure to search, and easily find, a solution on the Internet impossible to understand.

I’m well aware that cloud computing isn’t exactly the sexiest topic to cover on film, and that Sex Tape would’ve been about fifteen minutes long had the stars not been so moronic and blind as to how to rectify their situation, but I’m still left a little irked by the resulting impression the film will likely make on its viewers. 

Many of us have uploaded or shared information we wish we wouldn’t have, and even a single piece of good advice on how to get out of a jam would’ve been more than welcome. Jay and Annie still don’t understand the cloud at the film’s conclusion, and in promotional interviews for the film, Segel and Diaz claim to still know “very little” about it, and are even “terrified” of the concept. This is impossible.

The cloud may be unsexy, but giving the impression that we're completely incapable of understanding it is more offensive than what’s found in any sex tape—even one as bland and poorly staged as this one.

Assuming seeing this movie didn't scare you away from the cloud, check out why moving your development and test environments to the cloud is one of the most valuable and agile moves you can make!

Read the original blog entry...

More Stories By Skytap Blog

Author: Noel Wurst is the managing content editor at Skytap. Skytap provides SaaS-based dev/test environments to the enterprise. Skytap solution removes the inefficiencies and constraints that companies have within their software development lifecycle. As a result, customers release better software faster. In this blog, we publish engaging, thought provoking stories that revolve around agile enterprise applications and cloud-based development and testing.

@ThingsExpo Stories
19th Cloud Expo, taking place November 1-3, 2016, at the Santa Clara Convention Center in Santa Clara, CA, will feature technical sessions from a rock star conference faculty and the leading industry players in the world. Cloud computing is now being embraced by a majority of enterprises of all sizes. Yesterday's debate about public vs. private has transformed into the reality of hybrid cloud: a recent survey shows that 74% of enterprises have a hybrid cloud strategy. Meanwhile, 94% of enterpri...
Why do your mobile transformations need to happen today? Mobile is the strategy that enterprise transformation centers on to drive customer engagement. In his general session at @ThingsExpo, Roger Woods, Director, Mobile Product & Strategy – Adobe Marketing Cloud, covered key IoT and mobile trends that are forcing mobile transformation, key components of a solid mobile strategy and explored how brands are effectively driving mobile change throughout the enterprise.
SYS-CON Events announced today that Adobe has been named “Bronze Sponsor” of SYS-CON's 18th Cloud Expo, which will take place on June 7-9, 2016, at the Javits Center in New York, New York. Adobe is changing the world though digital experiences. Adobe helps customers develop and deliver high-impact experiences that differentiate brands, build loyalty, and drive revenue across every screen, including smartphones, computers, tablets and TVs. Adobe content solutions are used daily by millions of co...
Almost two-thirds of companies either have or soon will have IoT as the backbone of their business in 2016. However, IoT is far more complex than most firms expected. How can you not get trapped in the pitfalls? In his session at @ThingsExpo, Tony Shan, a renowned visionary and thought leader, will introduce a holistic method of IoTification, which is the process of IoTifying the existing technology and business models to adopt and leverage IoT. He will drill down to the components in this fra...
Data is an unusual currency; it is not restricted by the same transactional limitations as money or people. In fact, the more that you leverage your data across multiple business use cases, the more valuable it becomes to the organization. And the same can be said about the organization’s analytics. In his session at 19th Cloud Expo, Bill Schmarzo, CTO for the Big Data Practice at EMC, will introduce a methodology for capturing, enriching and sharing data (and analytics) across the organizati...
With so much going on in this space you could be forgiven for thinking you were always working with yesterday’s technologies. So much change, so quickly. What do you do if you have to build a solution from the ground up that is expected to live in the field for at least 5-10 years? This is the challenge we faced when we looked to refresh our existing 10-year-old custom hardware stack to measure the fullness of trash cans and compactors.
The emerging Internet of Everything creates tremendous new opportunities for customer engagement and business model innovation. However, enterprises must overcome a number of critical challenges to bring these new solutions to market. In his session at @ThingsExpo, Michael Martin, CTO/CIO at nfrastructure, outlined these key challenges and recommended approaches for overcoming them to achieve speed and agility in the design, development and implementation of Internet of Everything solutions wi...
Cloud computing is being adopted in one form or another by 94% of enterprises today. Tens of billions of new devices are being connected to The Internet of Things. And Big Data is driving this bus. An exponential increase is expected in the amount of information being processed, managed, analyzed, and acted upon by enterprise IT. This amazing is not part of some distant future - it is happening today. One report shows a 650% increase in enterprise data by 2020. Other estimates are even higher....
Today we can collect lots and lots of performance data. We build beautiful dashboards and even have fancy query languages to access and transform the data. Still performance data is a secret language only a couple of people understand. The more business becomes digital the more stakeholders are interested in this data including how it relates to business. Some of these people have never used a monitoring tool before. They have a question on their mind like “How is my application doing” but no id...
Smart Cities are here to stay, but for their promise to be delivered, the data they produce must not be put in new siloes. In his session at @ThingsExpo, Mathias Herberts, Co-founder and CTO of Cityzen Data, will deep dive into best practices that will ensure a successful smart city journey.
DevOps at Cloud Expo, taking place Nov 1-3, 2016, at the Santa Clara Convention Center in Santa Clara, CA, is co-located with 19th Cloud Expo and will feature technical sessions from a rock star conference faculty and the leading industry players in the world. The widespread success of cloud computing is driving the DevOps revolution in enterprise IT. Now as never before, development teams must communicate and collaborate in a dynamic, 24/7/365 environment. There is no time to wait for long dev...
Identity is in everything and customers are looking to their providers to ensure the security of their identities, transactions and data. With the increased reliance on cloud-based services, service providers must build security and trust into their offerings, adding value to customers and improving the user experience. Making identity, security and privacy easy for customers provides a unique advantage over the competition.
SYS-CON Events announced today that 910Telecom will exhibit at the 19th International Cloud Expo, which will take place on November 1–3, 2016, at the Santa Clara Convention Center in Santa Clara, CA. Housed in the classic Denver Gas & Electric Building, 910 15th St., 910Telecom is a carrier-neutral telecom hotel located in the heart of Denver. Adjacent to CenturyLink, AT&T, and Denver Main, 910Telecom offers connectivity to all major carriers, Internet service providers, Internet backbones and ...
Internet of @ThingsExpo, taking place November 1-3, 2016, at the Santa Clara Convention Center in Santa Clara, CA, is co-located with 19th Cloud Expo and will feature technical sessions from a rock star conference faculty and the leading industry players in the world. The Internet of Things (IoT) is the most profound change in personal and enterprise IT since the creation of the Worldwide Web more than 20 years ago. All major researchers estimate there will be tens of billions devices - comp...
Data is the fuel that drives the machine learning algorithmic engines and ultimately provides the business value. In his session at Cloud Expo, Ed Featherston, a director and senior enterprise architect at Collaborative Consulting, will discuss the key considerations around quality, volume, timeliness, and pedigree that must be dealt with in order to properly fuel that engine.
There is growing need for data-driven applications and the need for digital platforms to build these apps. In his session at 19th Cloud Expo, Muddu Sudhakar, VP and GM of Security & IoT at Splunk, will cover different PaaS solutions and Big Data platforms that are available to build applications. In addition, AI and machine learning are creating new requirements that developers need in the building of next-gen apps. The next-generation digital platforms have some of the past platform needs a...
SYS-CON Events announced today Telecom Reseller has been named “Media Sponsor” of SYS-CON's 19th International Cloud Expo, which will take place on November 1–3, 2016, at the Santa Clara Convention Center in Santa Clara, CA. Telecom Reseller reports on Unified Communications, UCaaS, BPaaS for enterprise and SMBs. They report extensively on both customer premises based solutions such as IP-PBX as well as cloud based and hosted platforms.
Pulzze Systems was happy to participate in such a premier event and thankful to be receiving the winning investment and global network support from G-Startup Worldwide. It is an exciting time for Pulzze to showcase the effectiveness of innovative technologies and enable them to make the world smarter and better. The reputable contest is held to identify promising startups around the globe that are assured to change the world through their innovative products and disruptive technologies. There w...
The 19th International Cloud Expo has announced that its Call for Papers is open. Cloud Expo, to be held November 1-3, 2016, at the Santa Clara Convention Center in Santa Clara, CA, brings together Cloud Computing, Big Data, Internet of Things, DevOps, Digital Transformation, Microservices and WebRTC to one location. With cloud computing driving a higher percentage of enterprise IT budgets every year, it becomes increasingly important to plant your flag in this fast-expanding business opportuni...
I wanted to gather all of my Internet of Things (IOT) blogs into a single blog (that I could later use with my University of San Francisco (USF) Big Data “MBA” course). However as I started to pull these blogs together, I realized that my IOT discussion lacked a vision; it lacked an end point towards which an organization could drive their IOT envisioning, proof of value, app dev, data engineering and data science efforts. And I think that the IOT end point is really quite simple…